Posted by | Ray Cornelius

“I think we have got to give God the glory. That’s just me. It’s not a cliché for me.”

Queen of Hip Hop Soul Mary J. Blige gets real in the new Winter 2013 issue of L.A. Confidential. The Grammy winning-singer who just completed shooting for her Lifetime  movie “Betty and Coretta,” talks about her role as Malcolm X’s widow, her music and her past demons of sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addictions. Most importantly, she discusses how God and spirituality have helped her to overcome her fears and move toward a path of self-love and forgiveness.

Check out her amazing photoshoot and a few excerpts from her interview:

On using the “Word of God” versus rehab…
I don’t know why. But I didn’t want to go to rehab. I believe that anything man himself can do for me, God can do for me in a greater way. I decided to pray and to seek God on my own. I just stayed in The Word. And it worked.

On Whitney Houston’s death being a turning point…
What I did was I chose to learn how to drink socially and it didn’t work. The test comes when you have to decide whether you’re drinking to be social or drinking to cover up something again. To cover up depression. To cover up guilt. Shame. Abandonment. All of that, man. Once I realized, “There you go again,” I had to stop. Whitney Houston’s death really affected me. Her death is another reason I stopped. I really do think I’m done. I looked at how that woman could not perform anymore.

On being molested…
I still have the child within me. She’s more around now than ever. She wasn’t around in the early days because I was pushing her back. I didn’t want anybody to hurt her.

On playing Betty Shabazz…
You have to move forward. If Betty had not moved forward, Malcolm X would have died and that would have been it. I didn’t even realize that she and Coretta had been friends. Women never get a chance to have their stories told when there are important men involved. That’s what drew me to the part.

On finding forgiveness…
Yes. I have. Just lately I have been saying that to myself a lot. “I forgive you, Mary. I forgive you.” I’ve been saying that to myself out loud. I’ve been praying to God to show me how to forgive myself. Because… maybe… that’s the thing I’ve been searching for.

Continue reading the rest at L.A. Confidential

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